HEY! You Are More Beautiful Than You Think…

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How would you describe yourself? What are your physical “flaws”?   Your “virtues”?  What do you think other people see when they first lay eyes on you?

photo credit: Clover_1 via photopin cc

photo credit: Clover_1 via photopin cc

 

From the time I was 8 years old, I was promised a nose job because I had “too much potential to let {my} nose ruin me!”

So, needless to say, I focused on my honker pretty intensely and it ended up being a source of obsession and self-loathing for many years!  When I was 16, I hustled to get a scholarship from a local Lion Lodge and went to Paris with a group of fellow French students.

 My daydream was to get my portrait drawn by a street artist in the Quartier Latin.

As I sat down and faced the artist, my negative perception of myself was so potent and strong, that it radiated like nuclear waste, and I literally sent the him mind-bullets.  He ended up drawing a distorted, cartoonishly hideous girl with beady eyes, fish lips and, of course, a GIGANTIC and crooked nose…exactly how I saw myself.

I cried like a little pansy-ass, and my friends kindly consoled me, told me what they thought was lovely about me, made me feel a lot better.  They insisted we go to another artist.  The next artist captured a reassured, loved and supported girl…the outcome was totally different.  Artist # 1 may have just been bad, but I am certain he picked up on my energy and delivered what I was giving off!

We all go through times like these, when we’re caught up in what that jerk-face voice tells us we are, and are not…The comforting thing is that what others think of us is often way mega lovelier than what we think of ourselves.

A friend kindly shared this video with me today, and it really struck a cord with me and my 16-year-old (and other-year-old!) self…  We are wrapped up in these ideas and thoughts that we have compiled over the course of our entire lives, that provide the picture of how we look in our mind’s eye.  Sadly though, that picture is often distorted like one of those kooky creepy-ass fun-house mirrors!  I’d love to see what you think of it.

 

 

What are some of the hang-ups you have or have had in the past about your appearance?  How were you able to shift these and see yourself in a more loving and beautiful light?

Is Your Inner Passion Burning Low?

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When was the last time you felt excited about something? Or went on an adventure? Can you recall the feeling of butterflies in your stomach?

I see so many amazing, kick-ass women going through life on cruise-control, staring at one spot, missing all the loveliness that they could be tapping into, and it makes my ticker hurt with sadness because, yo, it doesn’t have to be that way!

Having fun and enjoying life is possible, no matter what the circumstances or context may be…But having fun and leaning into life enough to savor it genuinely and profoundly are skills we have to actually focus on and practice! When you are aware of the fact that having fun and feeling your inner passion BURN baby BURN is completely within your control, it’s a real game-changer.  It’s like you wake up from a looooong sleep with your own “true love’s kiss” (sorry, I may or may not have watched a few episodes of “Once Upon a Time”…)

You know what I want? I want you to be giddy to get out of bed in the morning! I want you to see sparks and excitement around you every live-long day! I want you to be fueled with creativity and excitement and yearning for adventure! I want you to feel ecstatic pride and love about being you!  YAY!

This is why I decided to jump in and create the Ignite the Inner Passion Retreat in Costa Rica.  Here’s my new video for it…check’er out.

Even if Costa Rica isn’t in the cards for you this year, we have created some fun and easy Weekly Passion Igniters you can sign up for to help turn up the heat in your inner passion to start enjoying life just a little bit more…

What do you do to feel vibrant and alive and happy to be you?!  Please share in the comments below!

Tools for Getting Your Manifesting On {+ what I’m working hard to manifest!}

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Warning:  Thangs are ’bout to git real woo-woo up in here.  Just sayin’.

photo credit: AlicePopkorn via photopin cc

photo credit: AlicePopkorn via photopin cc

I have been manifesting things I desire for as long as I remember…since before I knew that what I was doing was called “manifesting”.  

From the time I was a gigantic child growing up (I’m 6’1 now, so just imagine…), I have had this burning certainty in my gut that things can be willed/made/invited to happen.  My family in Mexico was Catholic, so I grew up learning how to pray, and used this tool often.

My friends used to even submit requests like, “Help me win the batmington contest so I can get the gift certificate to FunPlex” and “Make a boy come and talk to us in front of the movie theater while we wait for my mom to pick us up.”  They knew I could pray like a mofo and get results.  My praying has since evolved into a mix of chanting and meditating, visualizing and calling on spirit guides, which much like Liz Taylor’s diamonds have “always brought me {magic}”.

However, since becoming an entrepreneur, I have been so in the eye of the storm…so wrapped up in all the emotions about the dreams and desires that I’m having manifestation stage-fright in a way.  It’s like I’m so close, I can’t pull away enough to effectively attract what it is I deeply desire…my manifesting mojo is rusty, yo.  Or at least my fears are making me feel like it is sometimes.  So I’m breaking things down, one by one and…

My main burning desire right now: To attract 15 women to my upcoming Ignite the Inner Passion Retreat in Costa Rica!!!

 

Earthy Header 2

 

Lately, I have been trying new techniques like focusing on what I want to attract for 10 minutes every single day, for 30 days (courtesy of the lovely Rose Cole during a recent video series).  I have also been writing down everything I desire in a notebook, in present tense as if it were already happening, expressing gratitude.

Another manifesting tip I learned that I really dig is when you’re afraid or nervous about an endeavor or project, think of someone you know could do it fearlessly and successfully…and pretend to be them for a bit!

A few days ago I came across some notes containing the mother-load of cool ways to be more proactive in attracting what you want that I took while listening to a call with  Burt Goldman from last year.

Here are some of the notes I’d like to share with you because they got me so effing excited! And I have started to implement some… they just make sense in this really kooky, profound and mind-blowing way.

Here goes:

  • We live in an infinite Universe, so whatever I believe or imagine IS.

  • Everyone has a Twin of themselves who exists in every time period, on every plane and dimension:  Visualize your Twin Self doing what you want to do.

  • Use your mind to travel where you want to go, see what you want to see and feel the emotions it brings up (I’ve been going to Costa Rica, imagining all the amazing stuff we’ll be doing with our group of kick-ass dames!)

  • Don’t ever get too emotional about your work!  Just do/act/take steps!  The intention is what matters most!  When you care too much, your emotions get in the way.  (This one is tough, but I’m working on it!)

  • During meditation, connect with your doppelganger who is already successful (stay objective) in your business.  See what they are doing, how they are going about things.

  • During meditation, tap into the Universe and its infinite knowledge to get business ideas.

  • When you go to bed at night, go over the events of the day, and imagine anything you wish you had done differently and do them over again in a way that makes you feel good.

I will be incorporating these into my daily practice and reporting back on how it goes regarding my retreat!

 Have you used any of these techniques?  What are your tried and true magical manifesting tools?  Please share below!

 

What Are You Waiting for? The Time for Fun is Now!

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Do you ever think thoughts like:

“Once I lose enough weight, I’m going to start going out more!”

“Life would be so much fun if I were skinny.”

“When I have enough money to get rid of these wrinkles, I’ll really start enjoying life again…”

“As soon as I earn $XXX, I can finally start having some fun and exploring!”

“I’ll stop stressing out and taking time to relax once I reach my goals.”

Join the club!!  I could go on and on and on with these that kept me, and are keeping so many of my lovely clients, stuck/frozen/stagnant…

 

It’s Friday Fun Day and I want to remind you that there is no perfect time to start living your life, enjoying things, taking time to relax, having FUN, going on adventures!!!

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Today is that day, toots!!!

If you aren’t happy with your weight, or how much you’re earning, or {fill in YOUR particular blank}, it does not have to stop you from creating space for fun and fluff and yum and wow.  In fact, if your confidence is not at its shiny brightest, having fun is a super duper amazing way to start changing that!!!

 

Today, I double dog dare you to ditch the negatron talk and saddle up for some fun-having!  As soon as you decide to embark on an adventure–no matter how small or how elaborate–you forget all that negative and limiting chatter and actually *feel good* for awhile.

Why not inject some of that into your everyday life?

 

 

Having fun = confidence!  It may sound strange, but try it!  There is no direct correlation between the way you look (or think you look)/how successful you are/how much money you earn, etc… and having fun!

There is absolutely no rule that says that you can only enjoy life once you’re pretty, thin, rich, fabulous, {insert others} “enough”…so stop living as if there were!  BOOM!

What can you do today to have some fun, relax, explore, savor, enjoy??  It can be something mega easy peasy!  Here are just a few simple ideas:

  • Call someone who makes you pee your pants with laughter and have a silly conversation.
  • Go into a shop  you adore and try on some ridiculous outfits that are waaaay out of your current price range.  Take a photo for extra credit!
  • If you go for drinks after work, order by color–ask the waiter to bring you something purple or green and see what you get (I actually had one slammin’ night with one of my bffs ordering drinks like this).
  • Take the scenic route home from work and stop at a couple of places that pique your interest.
  • Run outside and play in the rain!  Play on the playground!  Do the teeter-totter, swing..(I would be lying if I said I didn’t get giddy on the teeter totter just the other day!)Get muddy and wet, roll around!

Just go for it and allow yourself to enjoy the moment without being all self-judgy!!

I’d love to hear some of the yucky “once I ___ I’ll finally be able to____” thoughts you have and how you’re going to kick them in the arse today by having fun!  YAY!  Please share in the comments!!

 

 

 

How to Feel Good When Your Confidence Cruise Control is on the Fritz

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Confidence can be one tricky mamma jamma.

After giving birth, I lost all the “baby weight” and then some (thank you breastfeeding!)  My hair grew longer than it has been in years thanks to the prenatal vitamins.  I felt strong, energized, and those negative thoughts that used to bombard me in my noggin years ago were nowhere to be found.  I had reached a state of “Cruise Control Confidence” as it were.  And it was slammin’!!!

When Christmas rolled around, I decided to allow myself to have a free-for-all and eat whatever I wanted for the month to celebrate Christmas (good excuse) because I really really heart food.  Really a lot.  Boy howdy, I went to town.  Bread, pastries, wine, hot chocolate, pasta, fancy desserts…the list goes on and on my friend.

French pastries, I don't want you to be the enemy, but sometimes you just are... photo credit: Xiaozhuli via photopin cc

French pastries, I don’t want you to be the enemy, but sometimes you just are…     photo credit: Xiaozhuli via photopin cc

 

Well, that “special” month has now spilled all the way over through April.  Of course I still eat loads of healthy foods I love, but at some point they become like drops of water in the ocean.  It’s like I somehow lost my groove and have fallen into a spiral of making poor choices, feeling bloated and sluggish and unable to fit comfortably into all my clothes as a result.  Add a horrible haircut (that alone I have come to terms with, but not when it’s in the mix I now realize) and a bout of Rosacea + severely dry skin and well, the bombardment of negative thoughts and self-judgment have been flaring up lately.

And guess what?  The worse I feel about myself, the less anything improves!!  The more I beat myself up, the less willpower I have.  The more I focus on the weight I have gained, the less healthy choices I make.   But I know that right now is the time when I need to actually love myself the most!! 

Staying confident during times like this—when your Confidence Cruise Control is no longer working—can be tricky, but you have to remember to maintain, maintain, maintain.  As soon as I start swerving to the negative left or icky right, I take a moment to re-calibrate and get back on-course.

I’d like to share some of the things I’ve been doing to feel good as much as possible when feeling bad is nearby and so easy to fall into:

  • Nothing has to be permanent if I don’t want it to be!  Right now is a phase, and I am working my best to get through it with love, compassion and humor, so three cheers for me!
  • Things are never *really* as bad as my Inner Jerk-Face (IJF) says they are.  When I hear the negative self-talk, I remember that  IJF isn’t the ultimate speaker of Truth or determiner of Reality!  I am just having thoughts, which are most likely amplified and exaggerated to make me feel like crap.
Don't listen to the Inner Jerk-Face!! photo credit: Katie Tegtmeyer via photopin cc

Don’t listen to the Inner Jerk-Face!!                                                     photo credit: Katie Tegtmeyer via photopin cc

 

  • I can choose to be happy!  I can still dance and laugh and smile and create and have fun if my pants are a bit snug and my face isn’t smooth.  Seriously folks!
  • I am not my outside!  Even if I’m not at my physical best, I’m still me and I’m still good and on-track!  In the book of life, it kinda doesn’t matter much.
  • Focus on what *is* great about me right now/be grateful!  It feels better and will help my make better decisions.
  • “Today is the first day of the rest of your life.”  If I “mess up” (like I did this entire weekend while staying at my mother-in-law’s house eating her delicious hearty winter meals accompanied by bottomless wine, cheese, baguette and dessert…), tomorrow is a new day with a clean slate.
  • This is a gift.  This period will allow me to build my confidence up even more so I can help other women on even deeper levels!

What do you do to feel good when you are being pulled to feel bad?  How do you handle it when your Confidence Cruise Control is on the fritz?  I’d love to hear your comments and tips below!! 

Sometimes Compliments Make You Feel Like Crap

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One of the pillars of solid self-confidence and love is totally digging, approving and adoring yourself no matter what others think!

But, let’s face it: what others think does have an impact on how we view ourselves, especially early in life when we’re constructing our identities, or at low or vulnerable points.

I used to be a total approval junkie, hanging out waiting for others to say nice things about me so that I could feel good for a moment that would vaporize quickly into thin air. Unfortunately, negative opinions or feedback, or people disapproving weighed much more heavily, and those comments stayed with me much longer than any compliment. These non-stellar opinions about me, my actions, appearance, decisions, etc. were fodder for my negative self-talk.

Have you ever experienced this? Paying more attention and giving more energy to the negative things people say about you than on the positive ones? Yowzers, it’s exhausting! Helping you build and maintain your razzle-dazzle confidence is my mission, so I want to share an easy peasy way to shift this tendency to hold onto the negative and dismiss the positive that others say.

It’s really simple: Remember that you can CHOOSE what you pay attention to! You don’t have to take everything in or on! Sift all comments people make, and pluck the ones that are actually beneficial to your growth, and the ones that make you feel giddy. Simple as that. Choose your focus carefully.

photo credit: Gabriela Camerotti via photopin cc

photo credit: Gabriela Camerotti via photopin cc

Negative Comments, Judgment, Disapproval From Others: Rummage through and see what you find.

Not every opinion you focus on has to be positive! Sometimes a negative comment can help to shine light on a certain way you react, or a behavior you want to eliminate in your life. These comments can also show you how far you’ve come and how much you have grown—all super duper for building your self-confidence.
A few weeks ago, I received some pretty tactless and mean comments from someone regarding a project I am putting together. After I got over the spikes and vinegar in the way she expressed herself, I found two gifts: first, I realized that had it happened a year ago, I would have cried and felt horribly about my work, and would have lost my steam to continue on it.

That didn’t happen this time; I stepped back and remembered it was just one person’s opinion. Second, she was right about a few of the changes she suggested I make, and now my project is better. And, her hating my work doesn’t automatically make me any less intelligent or savvy or professional. Try to remember this, and it really lightens the emotional load in a major way. Ya dig?

Compliments/ Verbal Flowers From Others: Take your neon favorites, and dismiss the ones that don’t resonate.

When your self-confidence isn’t at its strongest, compliments can be tricky buggers.

In my case, I adored getting them, but at the same time, they made me feel like crap because they were never enough to keep me filled up. All my self-worth came from what others told me, and when you’re not nourishing yourself with love and compliments, kind words from others can be like emotional donuts—they are lovely with sprinkles, taste delicious and give you a sugar rush…but disappear just as fast, making you hungry for more.

When someone throws you a verbal flower, don’t use it to fill up a void, but instead, treat it like a gift…honor it. Taking the time to savor and truly be grateful for it turns it into a glowing ball of love and light, which is much more powerful and long-lasting than a donut any old day. Also remember that you can choose which compliments you take to heart and add to your shiny collection! Not all of them feel sincere or truly resonate, so if you receive any that feel uncomfortable, simply be grateful, and release them. That’s it! There’s no need to give it any more meaning or energy than that! *

*Note: Even beautiful, heart-felt compliments can make us feel uncomfortable because they put us in a spotlight, and accepting them flat-out can make you feel cocky or conceited. This is not the discomfort I’m referring to when I mention dismissing some.

Many years ago my grandmother decided that for my quinceañera she wanted to offer me the gift of Glamour Shots—remember those? I went to the mall and got all dolled up (I can’t begin to tell you how much powder and hairspray was used, for, it was the early 90s after all) and got my photo shoot on.

When I showed the glitzy photos to some of my friends, one said, “Wow! These are sooo beautiful, it doesn’t even look like you!” Had I known then what I know now, I would not have let what she truly felt was a compliment (that felt more like a knee to the crotch) burn fire in my stomach or take the wind from beneath my wings (sorry for the reference, but again, it was the early 90s.) Now I know it was my choice to feel bad.

You know what feels REALLY delicious?! Taking a few moments to remember some of the loveliest, most slammin’ and elating compliments you have ever gotten and keeping them in a special collection.

 

http://www.flickr.com/photos/chrisjl/7364729924/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/chrisjl/7364729924/

I invite you to get a piece of paper and jot some of them down—guaranteed to put butterflies in your stomach! And let them soak in as you read them, really feeling their potency.

Here are a few of my treasures (and this is an exercise in stepping out of my comfort zone because I instantly feel conceited or arrogant, but there goes, breathing through it…):

“Your skin looks like porcelain with light glowing out from inside of it.”

“You are one of the most emotionally intelligent people I have ever met.”

“The way you dance reminds me of my sister in Africa! You have some groove in you!”

“You are a leader. Not because you lead, but because people like you so much, they pay attention to
what you have to say.”

 “That shirt is so ugly and strange, but you pull it off!”

 

I would ADORE reading a couple of your compliment all-stars in the comments below—come on, ain’t nobody gonna judge! It’s a celebration!

On Getting Your GroOOooVe Back: Fun & Beauty

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When was the last time you had FUN?!

Like, tears rolling down because of laughter, butterflies in your stomach, adrenaline rushing, “I can’t wait to do it again!” WOW fun?!

Please take a moment and reflect on this…  Was it in the last week?  The last month?  I hope so!!!!!  As kids, it was normal to have fun, get excited, create adventure and let our imaginations flow, exist and lead us in a whirlwind of directions.

Why are things different now that we’re adults?  Because so many of us sit around *waiting* for moments, experiences, magic to come to us…fall into our laps when in reality, we should be inviting fun in, seeking it out, invoking and creating it!!

Allow room for fun!

It’s April Fool’s Day!  And in my estimation, a super duper day for flexing your FUN muscles and doing something mischievous to have a laugh.  Tap into your inner kid, and concoct a delicious, colorful, hilarious prank to make someone’s day!!

Here are some other easy ways to be proactive about FUN:

  • Plan a slumber party with some friends!  I’m talking in your jammies + truth or dare + prank calls (even if it’s no longer anonymous, tee hee) + plain ol’ silliness!
  • Go dancing!  Even if it has been ages, get gussied up and hit the dance floor!  Or heck, do it in the living room!
  • Play games you used to play as a wee one, teen or in college–remember MASH, 4-square, hop-scotch, spoons?  They were fun then, they can be fun now!
  • Organize a scavenger hunt in your neighborhood at night.
  • Camp out in the back yard and roast marshmallows.
  • Go for a midnight bike ride with friends!

You get the idea!  Your fun-having doesn’t have to be over-the-top or elaborate; the important part is tapping into what it is you enjoy and sprinkling it all over your life!

When was the last time you felt RAVISHING?

Like, “Dayum!  That’s me?  That’s ME!!” strutting your stuff and loving your body, face, essence?

There is sooooo much about you that is beautiful, but sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in all of the things we don’t think are “perfect” or “good enough” about us.  Think for a minute about the last time you were glowing and radiant, giddy to be you.  Are these moments rare for you?  If they are, you don’t need to lose weight or get rid of wrinkles…you simply need a focus & mindset makeover!

photo credit: bolandrotor via photopin cc

photo credit: bolandrotor via photopin cc

 

Focus on your beauty!

Here are some simple ways to connect you with your beauty:

  • When you start to see things you don’t like about your appearance, shift the focus to what is lovely about you!  If it’s hard at first, choose some things that you don’t dislike and put your attention there; these can be really simple like, “I’m grateful that my legs get me where I need to go,” etc.
  • Showcase your assets!  If you know you have sparkling, mesmerizing eyes, take time to add a little mascara, or wear a shirt that makes them POP.  Got some slammin’ legs?  Throw more skirts into the mix.
  • Play dress up!  I have always been a big fan of just pulling out my flashiest duds and makeup and going all out in the comfort of my own pad.  It’s good to experiment with looks and feels that may be out of your comfort zone.  Having an impromptu photo shoot seals the deal and gives you visual evidence of how fly you are, me lady.
  • Strut your sh#*…walk like you mean it!  When you walk with confidence, it helps you radiate instantly!

It’s all about ditching the negative self-talk, and honoring and highlighting all the beautiful things about you.

Being proactive about creating FUN moments in your life and purposely connecting with your unique BEAUTY are two wonderful and concrete  ways to start getting your groove back so that you can enjoy being YOU!

How do you have FUN?  What do you do to remind yourself of just how RAVISHING you are?  Please share below!!

And, if you want more ideas for getting your groove back, you can sign up for free Weekly Passion Igniters at the website for the Ignite the Inner Passion Retreat I’ll be co-facilitating in Costa Rica, June 26 – 30, 2013!!

 

The Thrift Store: A Treasure Trove for Sacred Style

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Happy Friday Fun Day!!! 

To honor this fun weekly holiday, I want to talk about the magic of….THE THRIFT STORE, and why it is soooo important for showcasing one’s Souls Style, and why that matters on a very deep level.

Photo by: Ale C. Shirt: Thrift find; Vest: Garage sale find; Headwrap: Thrift find

Photo by: Ale C.
Some of my faves!!!  Shirt: Thrift find; Vest: Garage sale find; Headwrap: Thrift find

You see, Style is Sacred.  

Style is an expression of who you are…of your essence.  It visually and energetically communicates who you are, what you’re about and how you see the world.

Style allows you to SHINE and OWN who you are, what you’re saying, what you’re doing, and where you’re going.

It is like a unique signature that only YOU have.  Nobody else’s style is *exactly* like yours.  That’s because nobody else has been on the exact same path as yours, or accumulated the same visual, emotional, spiritual influences and inspiration.

For me, the Thrift Store is a Temple, a Sanctuary for expressing this unique signature. 

It holds many surprises, treasures and sources of inspiration.  Tangible ways to express how you’re feeling, what you want to give off, radiate.  The items there each have their own unique story and energy.  When you find a *perfect* YOU piece, your heart sings, “EUREKA”.  When you find an almost perfect YOU piece, it can get your creative juices flowing on ways to tweak, hem and cut it until it’s a perfect fit.

Though it may sound extreme, I sometimes feel like I’m Divinely guided when I find a certain article of clothing, or a unique accessory for me or someone I dig or love.  The most perfect gifts I have ever found have been from the Thrift Store… and they have made the recipient feel truly understood, seen, felt, accurately perceived.  BINGO! BAM! BOOM!

Thrift Store treasures are often one-of-a-kind, so when you spot something you adore, it’s like your soul radar is going off, exclaiming, “YES!  THAT’S exactly what I want to say!!!!”

When you discover your Style, you connect with your Soul.

I’m a little bit woo-woo, a little bit rock-n-roll, with a dash of Victorian prim-and-proper and a sprinkle of punk-rock/glam pizzazz.  I have been able to express *just* who I am visually thanks to the magic of the Thrift Store!  And it makes me feel heard, seen, and like I’m truly communicating with my fellow humans.  And when we feel heard, seen and understood, we EXIST & RADIATE!

  • Have you found your Soul Style?
  • Do you feel like you’re expressing your True Essence through your style?
  • Are you radiating fully?!

If not, I CAN HELP!!!  (Feel free to sign up for my free Beauty Breakthrough Session!!)

 

Ight, so in case you didn’t notice, I, uh, ADORE the ol’ second-hand shopping experience!  And, since it’s Friday Fun Day, I want to share this musical ode, which I recently discovered and totally feel, yo!!!

 

 

Where do you go to find pieces that reflect your Soul Style???  What have been some of your favorite style treasure finds????

You Are What You Say You Are, So Why Not Make it Feel Good?

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For years, I felt desperate and hopeless thinking that I needed to morph into some “perfect” person in order to be proud of myself and finally feel successful, beautiful and happy.  It was hard for me to say anything positive about myself, and if I alluded to anything even remotely positive about being Eyenie, I immediately felt ashamed and conceited.  I started to formulate a total misfit identity for myself, and only focused on things that made me “different” in a bad way (according to my set of beliefs.)

I want to be like her! Waving her magical freakflag and doing her dreamy thing!

This is one magical, dreamy, tall dame! She inspires me…

In my mind, all of who I am was wrapped up in these few things that I wouldn’t allow to budge.  I kept doing things to make them remain true and real.

  • I am a freakshow, and come from a freakshow family.  We are not normal.  I am not normal.
  • I am a total dork.  No cool people could possibly ever dig me.
  • I am an ogre because I’m so tall (a friend kindly started calling me Sasquatch and invited others to do the same.
  • I am ugly, and if people ever say I’m pretty, they mean, “pretty in my own way”, which basically = ugly.
  • I have to be funny–it’s the only reason I have friends (I was called Jim Carrey girl in HS)
  • I have to be nice and tolerate everything otherwise, I will lose my friends.
  • I follow rules and do what I’m supposed to and please people as much as possible, otherwise, I’m pretty much unlovable.
  • I don’t belong or fit in.

To summarize, according to me, I was: an Ugly Sasquatch Freakshow Misfit Dork 

This all made me feel horrible about being me…  And I realize now that it gave others (I gave others) permission to treat me in certain unkind ways and to expect certain reactions (or the non-reactions/passiveness that come with feeling like you’re unworthy).

I was pretty much shouting from the rooftops, “TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME! CALL ME NAMES! DON’T RESPECT ME! I DON’T DESERVE TO FEEL GOOD!”  I was what I said I was, and those around me reflected it back to me oh-so mega clearly.

Thank the Kosmos, I understand that perfect and successful are not generic terms, and everyone’s definition is different, which is why I aim to just be happy with who I am according to my stats, graphs and measurements.  

So, today I like to see myself as: an Exotic Graceful Freakshow (I rather dig this word, actually!) Magical Maverick Dork  (I am proud of my dorkiness and see that my sense of humor comes from it).  I simply needed to adjust some things in order to make my beliefs about myself sit right and feel good.

How do you describe yourself in your mind?  What labels are you carrying around that could use a bit of a shifty shift/makeover to feel good?  Pretty please share your before and afters…I’d love to read them!

7 Ways to Sprinkle More Beauty Into Your Life

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Have you noticed that when you feel like major crap, it’s really easy to hone in on things around you that are wrong/ugly/stupid/annoying, etc.?  And, when you aren’t a big fan of yourself, it’s really easy to make things in your life less pleasant.  I did this for years, I realize now thanks to that magical 20/20 hindsight, and ended up sort of depriving myself of yummy, comfortable, feel-good things.  Though I have always gone out of my way to make others feel good, happy, comfortable, etc., I was sort of austere and unkind when it came to myself; I can sort of liken it to the anorexic who prepares delicious food for others, but doesn’t eat any herself.

With each day, I notice little things I can do to make my existence a more pleasant one…things I never really even had on my radar before!  It’s cray-cray how a mindset shift can open a whole new world of  WOW, ain’t it?!  It’s all about doing things to create the feelings you want to feel every day.  

photo credit: paul bica via photopin cc

photo credit: paul bica via photopin cc

Here are 7 mega simple things I have been doing to engage all of my senses and make my daily existence a lovelier one!

(WARNING:  Some of these are sooo simple that I’m a bit embarrassed to just be incorporating them into my life at this here juncture, but alas, it is NEVER EVER too late!  YAY!!!)

1.)  Up the Ante on the Banal.  I grew up with nice, soft, lovely-smelling laundry done by my mother, but, once I moved out, I washed my clothes with detergent only–I couldn’t be bothered fussing with extra steps and liquids.  I got some free fabric softner the other day and decided to try it, and it blew my effing mind!  It was like I was making out with Springtime when I took my clothes out of the dryer!  The smell was intoxicating, and I actually felt happy…from a load of laundry!  Pretty much a no-brainer.  If I can get giddy when I do laundry thanks to fabric softner, then I’ma make it part of my routine!

2.)  Revamp your make-up bag.  I’m a big fan of a few make-up basics, and since I move around a lot, sometimes I’m unable to get certain products, and as a result tend to babysit them.  This means that I end up having some of my make-up for waaaaay too long, and it eventually gets yucky and dry and isn’t really good anymore.  Plus, after lugging them around for so long, sometimes powders break and get all over my bag, and it’s a big ol’ mess.  Well, the buck stops here, folks!  Last weekend I dumped all the old stuff and went to this lovely little boutique near my pad and bought some new key players for my face–matte red lipstick, a proper eye-brow pencil, some new blush.  Not too expensive, but clean, and fresh and new!  It makes going to the makeup bag to get ready a true pleasure.  YAY!

3.)  Turn a Task into a Ritual. I’ve always been pretty bad about moisturizing after a shower; part of it came from the thought that a shower should be a “get in, get out, BOOM!” sort of thing.  Another part came from, well, just being lazy/not seeing the value in spending time on myself. Well, now I’ve decided to see bathing and prepping my bod as a lovely, luxurious ritual.  I have been taking 10 or 15 minutes longer to moisturize and let my skin absorb, and it makes a huge difference.  It’s not just a task anymore…it’s a wowy-zow experience!

4.)  Make things smell lovely.  Incense, essential oils, candles….man alive!  Spritz your sheets with lovely essential oil sprays before making your bed.  Light incense while you get ready in the morning.  Buy dish-soap that tickles your nose’s fancy.  Use a moisturizer that makes smells so delish, it makes you feel all light and giddy.

5.)  Pay a little more.  Since I grew up as a financially-challenged lass, my eyes were trained to go straight for the lowest price-tag when buying anything.  Even after I started working and was no longer a poor kid, I still found myself buying based on the lowest price.  That tendency still flares up from time-to-time, but I’m making an effort to first go for what looks lovely or yummy or pretty, and then look at the price tag afterward to decide if I want it.  This makes you purchase things from a different space, abundance instead of lack.

photo credit: A6U571N via photopin cc

photo credit: A6U571N via photopin cc

6.)  Buy flowers.  They really transform your abode, and make it feel so lovely and floaty!  And in my case, having flowers around pushes me to keep my pad tidier.  There’s just something so generous about them…. you dig?

7.)  Put on a dreamy musical backdrop.  Strangely, I sometimes forget this is an option.  Putting on music can seriously change everything!  In my experience, it takes any situation or context to the next level!  It turns regular ol’ meals or chats into events or moments to be savored  relished, delighted in.  Sigh.

How do you up the beauty ante in your life?  I’d love for you to add to this list!!