Dear Person Who Always Finds Something to Passive-Aggressively Criticize About My Parenting,
First of all, I want to thank you sincerely for loving my child so much that you’re constantly “afraid” for her. If you could just love her deeply without the fear part, all the better! This fear is a projection of your own fears and anxiety, and I really really don’t want her to inherit that from you. You have a great many other qualities she can benefit from. Thanks to The Four Agreements, I now know to not take anything personally (agreement # 2)…so know I don’t take this fear personally.
You said you are afraid (there’s that word again) that I am too “dependent” on my daughter, and that she, in turn, is too dependent on me. You also assume that I don’t let my husband have time with her due to my so-called neediness. Agreement # 2 says to never assume anything. This was the case in your situation, but I will not allow you to project it onto me. My daughter and I are very close. She is not my property, and I am aware of that. I want her to be a magical part of the Universe and to belong to a wonderful community. I didn’t give birth to her so she could fill me up or make me feel like I exist. I simply want her to feel secure in the fact she can count on me unconditionally, this way she can go about her business on Earth, confidently creating a slammin’ life for herself.
You “suggested” that I stop breastfeeding because she is “too old” (she’ll be one tomorrow) and needs some independence. Breastfeeding is beneficial on so many levels, I don’t know where to begin. This lovely thing we do is between the two of us, and we will naturally evolve and release it intuitively and smoothly. Naturally. Thanks for your input. I will not take it personally.
You also noted that last time I left her with you she cried and that it’s “not normal” for a child to cry when she is with someone she knows. You expressed you believe that we “waited too long” to have others babysit her. Really? She’s barely one. My husband and I have had the incredibly amazing opportunity of being able to stay at home with her for her first year of life. We’re the people she sees most. She kinda digs us. There’s also this fun thing called Separation Anxiety. It’s not a made-up excuse I use to smother my daughter. It’s a thing. Again, I won’t take this personally.
While you were “scolding” me as you lovingly called it, you said you did it because you love me. I love you, too and am deeply grateful for the love you have for my spawn. But I’ve made a commitment to living in LOVE, not in FEAR, and this is something I am determined to teach my daughter.
With love I ask you to stop projecting your fears onto my parenting context.
With love I ask you to trust me as you used to before I became a mother.
With love I ask you to step off and let me have my turn. Don’t impose your reality onto her or me or us.
Sending you glitter bombs of love, blessings, light and awareness,
A Misfit Mom.